Why do I bother I don't know
I'll turn off my radio
Day after day
The airways are awash
With songs of ones in love
And those who are out of
There's just not enough songs about squash

Maybe to you it's just a game
Somewhere you heard the name
Not for the claustrophobic
A pastime for the posh
Without sounding too peculiar
If it's a cardiovascular
You're after then you can't go past squash

Netball, t-ball, orienteering
Are all worth a second hearing
Football, handball, four-in-a-square
Are all good but they just don't compare

I hope I'm speaking clearly
Because there's no not nearly
Enough songs about squash

Oh no it's raining
We'll have to cancel tennis training
But look here, never fear
Throw down that mackintosh
I know a game under a roof
It's just four walls and the truth
It's fun, rain, hail or sun
It's squash

Red dot, green dot, yellow dot ball
Try and bounce it off the wall
Headband, wristband, fuzzy handled racket
Can't some DJ play a squash song in their bracket?

Though I'm not trying to fool ya
It'll either kill or cure ya
It's squash

You see there's not enough songs
There's not enough songs
There's not enough songs about squash

There's not enough songs
There's not enough songs
There's not enough songs about squash